Man 'Flu

I have just visited the doc's with what I perceived to be the advanced stages of third degree man 'flu - man 'flu X, in my opinion. a new and virulent strain! I was checked out thoroughly by the lady doc and made to feel that I was only two training sessions short of a world heavyweight title fight! I left empty handed... no drugs, no sympathy, not even a cuddle!

In my disgruntled state I started to reflect. Man ‘flu? Who labelled it thus? Yeah, women. A dismissive term that suggests that at best a bloke is malingering and at worst a cry-baby who can’t handle a bit of discomfort.
 
But whose fault is it that men feel so much pity for themselves when afflicted by this illness? Who is responsible for the pity? Yeah, women.

Why, you might wonder. Okay, consider this.

Back in caveman days when gender roles were slightly different (all right, completely different) men and women had very precise tasks to carry out. Women protected the family, nurtured the children and made the cave dwelling comfortable and habitable. Men were required to protect this territory from rivals, assailants and wild beasts. But more importantly they were expected to go out into the wilderness and hunt, bring back food to ensure the survival of the little Neanderthal family. And if they couldn’t do that, and the other aforementioned tasks, the family was in trouble and under threat, its very survival at stake. And cavewoman knew this!

So, the moment caveman showed any sign that he might not be able to carry out his tasks to the best of his ability, cavewoman sprang into action. At the first sign of a sniffle, a sneeze or a cough she made sure caveman followed her rules. Straight to bed, underneath a pile of furs next to a blazing fire while she plied him with ancient herbal concoctions to stave off illness. Cavewoman knew she could not have her caveman incapacitated for any prolonged period. The family’s wellbeing depended on him being back in action and able to get on with his tasks. Even if he protested that he was okay, cavewoman was not going to listen and certainly was not going to take the risk. Caveman had to follow orders. So, he did what he was told and took to his bed.

And now, as a result of this type of survival programming, ingrained in the psyche of male humans over thousands of years, a permanent mindset has been created in men. And now, the minute they feel slightly under the weather or out of sorts they believe their condition is just a few coughs short of life-threatening. And ironically women have forgotten they are the cause of this mindset, and as a result of that forgetfulness, now have zero sympathy. In fact they have adopted a totally different attitude and a man complaining of winter cold symptoms is an object of ridicule.

So, in the light of the doctor's negligence, it's back to 'ancient herbal remedies' for me - chicken soup, garlic milk with whiskey (don't turn your noses up - it was my mother’s recipe and no, she didn't have Arapaho Indian heritage) and a positive attitude!