Partner in Crime

It said she was seeking a ‘partner in crime.’ Better than the usual ‘soul mate’ tag, I thought, or ‘sole mate’ as the illiterate and those who live by the sea tend to put.

So I showed up on the date. You never know what to expect, and when I’d asked if she had anything in mind for the evening, she’d simply said, “Perhaps I’ll surprise you.”
I wasn’t quite prepared for the actual surprise. I’d just delivered two glasses of the finest Chianti Classico Il Grigio Gran Selezione 2010 to the wine bar table and had barely had a sip, when she pulled out a mask, a black and white striped t-shirt and a bag with the letters ‘SWAG’ emblazoned across it.
“Put these on,” she said, pushing the mask and shirt across the table.
I stared at the items and, lost for words, I took a swig of my wine (I note now, some while after this episode, that experts say one should never ‘swig’ a Chianti Classico Il Grigio Gran Selezione 2010, but, rather, should sip it gently in order to appreciate its aromatic deep cherry, liquorice tones, hints of leather and spice, and thus savour its rich, sweet fruit, vibrant acidity, and long finish.)
Fortified by my ‘swig’ I tried to hide my surprise. “You’re taking this ‘partner in crime’ thing a bit far,” I said. “What we robbing?”
“Robbing?” she queried, her right eyebrow arched as if she had deliberately chosen to add additional emphasis to her question. “I’ve been invited to a fancy dress bash this evening. I thought you might like to accompany me.”

I necked the remainder of the Chianti Classico Il Grigio Gran Selezione 2010. Who cares what the critics think?! 🍷