I was nervous. First dates do that. She was coming a long way too. Seven light years to be precise. An hour away maybe, but still a trek. I was pleasantly surprised when she glided into the bar. Very pretty, understated makeup, a little purple eye shadow that went well with her lime green skin and red antennae.
“Hi, I’m Patrick,” I said.“Dfktry swcvlop fxz,” she replied.My IGALT (Intergalatic Alien Language Translation) Unit gave a strange buzz and stopped. I tapped the concealed ear piece but got no response.“Err... how was the journey? Would you like a drink?”She smiled. “Kjfowva mdftrgh cliksfyu.”“Uh....” I took a guess and produced two glasses of Champagne via the TODS (Thought Order Drinks Service)“She looked at the glass and turned her nose up which actually made it look more classical. “Dfgcvu. Jlkpowe xcbgrasd. Matdxs vyqbvlm.”“Sorry, I seem to be having trouble with my IGALT. Something else?”She frowned. “Abtpchi lfaqevx ublpophi cdqa vi ghml y hzrjhkxbngt! Ghgop vilmnase cqyup? Matdxs vyqbvlm!”“Look, I’m not getting this. Would you like to try something fruity since you’ve travelled from Sector 19 and I know they don’t have plants there.”Her reaction was unexpected, a sharp slap across the face. It stung but the IGALT earpiece suddenly sparked into life as she began to speak. The translation was loud and clear.“Will you get out of my way. I’m meeting my husband here in the lower bar. Imbecile.”Oh well, some people just don’t look like their pictures!
No comments:
Post a Comment