I was sitting at a table in a bar. On
my own. Three empty seats. A fella comes up with two women and says,
"Sorry. Anyone sitting here?"
I looked for his white stick but he didn't have one. No dark glasses either and
he wasn't humming 'Very superstitious, writing on the wall...' So I dismissed
any thoughts about why he might be sorry and replied, "Yes, actually. I'm
sitting here." And with an expansive gesture towards the remaining seats I
said, "And the Invisible Man and his invisible wife are here ...oh, and
their invisible child, whose sex I am unable to determine because he/she is
invisible, is occupying this seat just there." He seemed slightly taken
aback and glanced at one of his companions who decided she should intervene.
"No need to be rude. He only asked if anyone was sitting here."
"Madam, I am not being rude," I said. "I am aware of what this
gentleman asked. I realise that that was his only question as you so expertly
point out. I realise he didn't ask if I could explain Fermat's Last Theorem and
nor did he ask if it was currently raining in Cambodia. Hence I answered his
only question. Now, if you will be so kind as to accept my answer I would
appreciate it. It isn't often I get to go out with my invisible friends, mainly
because when we arrange to meet I never know whether they have turned up."
The woman took a deep breath and then whispered something to the other woman. Then
she said, "Err, okay... I'm sorry. I understand. My friend and I work in
the psychiatric department of the local hospital and we... we understand. No
offence... if there's anything we can do..."
"Thank you," I said. "Apology accepted. Perhaps you'd get three
gin and tonics... oh, and a cigar for the kid... by way of showing some good
will."
She's at the bar now!
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